Misunderstood
by Khristi Santers
Summary: Terra asks Raven for advice.


_**A/N: Alright, this is mostly just coming from having mood swings and feeling really misunderstood today. And clearly, Terra is my favorite **_**Teen Titans****_ character, because I feel she and I are alike; misunderstood and confused. So I thought I'd give this a shot. Takes place just before the episode "Betrayal."_**

Terra sat alone in her room, reflecting on the events of the day. The Titans seemed to be harder on her that day, instead of giving the kind encouragement they normally gave her. Had they figured out her secret, and were just waiting for the right time to talk to her about it? She thought that Robin would have immediately called a meeting or something. And if he did, Terra didn't know what she would say. She felt so stuck, knowing that what she was doing for Slade was wrong, but wanting to do it at the same time. Partially just to thank him for saving her from her uncontrollable powers.

She went out onto the roof to clear her head. If anyone was up there, it was probably just Raven, meditating, so they would have an unspoken agreement not to talk to each other.

The pale girl was out there, hovering in midair, legs crossed, muttering "Azarath, metrion, zinthos" over and over again. She seemed to take no notice of Terra, who went to sit at the edge of the roof, making small pebbles next to her zip through the air in front of her, zigzagging and crashing into each other, sometimes so hard that they shattered into smaller pebbles. At least it kind of took her mind off of her confusion.

After a moment, Raven sighed, floating back down to the floor. She looked at Terra. "I can't meditate."

"Sorry, is it my fault?" asked Terra. She stood up. "Didn't try to distract you. I'll leave."

"No, it's not your fault," said Raven before Terra could reach the stairs. "You can stay. I haven't been able to meditate for a couple of days. It's weird, I've had a bad feeling that I think has to do with Slade."

Terra tried not to reveal her distress at this as she sat back down next to Raven. It really was her fault. "Do you think he's gonna attack soon?"

Raven shrugged. "Not sure. I think so, especially after he tried to sink Titans Tower. And if he is attacking any time soon, he's going to attack hard. I know there's one every time, but there's a huge possibility this time that he might even win."

Yeah. There was. Because it wasn't just going to be Slade that time. He was going to have his apprentice working with him. Terra couldn't keep it in anymore. She needed to talk to someone, knowing she couldn't mention working for the Titans' archnemisis. "Raven, I know this is kinda out of nowhere, but do you ever feel confused...stuck...just plain misunderstood?"

"All the time." She didn't seem to think the question was strange at all. "I'm the one who has the dark room full of books, goes off by herself to meditate, and shows no emotion, having a dark side myself. I definitely know being misunderstood. Beast Boy's called me creepy more than once, but I know that I'm not. Confused...it depends upon what kind of confusion you mean."

"Well, like, you mentioned your dark side. I think everyone has one. And mine is battling with me right now. It's hard to explain. But I'm confused about where I should be, what I should do. If I make a bad choice, I could lose everything, but the thing is, I don't know which one is the bad choice. I guess it's the one I don't want to do... I just feel so stuck. And if someone finds out about it, I don't know what to tell them. I don't really have any excuse for it. People would get angry at me, and probably never forgive me, even if I make amends. They just don't understand me. Sometimes, I don't know if I understand me."

"I know exactly what you're talking about." Raven smiled at Terra, seeming to care for her like a true friend. She didn't often get those looks from Raven, so it made her a little happier. "I've got a sort of a decision, too. Well, it doesn't seem like much of a decision, more like I'm being forced into doing something terrible. I'm trying to do the right thing, but sometimes it even keeps me from meditating. And whatever the decision you need to make is, I'm sure that all of us will help you with it if you'll tell us. Feel like sharing?"

"Feel like sharing yours?"

Raven shook her head. "I can handle mine. I've been fighting the same battle my whole life and I know that I don't need help. But I don't think you'd be talking about this if you could handle yours yourself. We can help you, Terra. Really."

"I..." She took a deep breath. "I know. Thanks. But I really don't want to talk about it. I just want to know one thing...would you guys still like me even if I did something terrible?"

"It probably depends on what kind of terrible thing. Although I think we'd let you slide for a lot. I can only hope that everyone will still like me, and maybe even help me, after I get forced into doing what I don't want to do. I don't think we'd automatically kick you out of the Titans after taking ice cream from a kid or anything. Well, your problem is most likely worse than that. But you get the point."

Terra nodded, sighing. She got up and started walking toward the stairs. "Thanks. I'll leave you to try meditating again."

"Hey Terra." Raven smiled at Terra again. "We're all here for you. You can talk to any of us at any time. That's what friends are for. And if you ever need to talk to someone else who feels misunderstood, I'm willing to listen."

Terra smiled back, nodding, and headed down the stairs. As terrible as she felt about it, she knew what Slade would do to her if she didn't go through with the plan. She didn't want to give him the security codes. She didn't want to attack her friends. She didn't want to hurt Beast Boy or Raven, or any of the other Titans. They were her family. They loved her. Slade had only ever taught her to control her powers, eliminating the fear that every time she used them, she would hurt someone.

Knowing the consequences, that she might lose her friends forever, but having some hope that one day they would forgive her and help her return to them, Terra went to her room, opened her laptop, and tapped out more information about the Titans to send to Slade. There was nothing she wanted more than to go back in time and refuse to take that villain up on his offer to help her with her powers. She knew that once they found out, the Titans wouldn't understand. Terra would never be understood.


End file.
